Collaborative Language

Great leaders don’t use authority. They’re collaborative, influential and lead with a purpose.

I’ve learned this lesson repeatedly and wanted to share it for all of those new managers and leaders.

New managers often rely solely on authority to try and get things done. When sending an email, they tell the recipients how things are going to be, based on a plan they thought long and hard about. “We need to do this, by this time, so we can then do that.” They either drip-feed information to the team, or overwhelm them with the entire plan all at once. “Now get to work.”

How does that make people on the team feel? Is that what being professional is meant to look like?

The language you use with your team is crucial to get right. Your choice of words can be the difference between motivating and demotivating them. Even one word makes a difference. Let me explain.

The next time there is something you want to change, don’t start by saying “I’ve thought about this, and I want us to do this”. Say, “I’ve thought about this, and I want us to try this”. This one word change, keeps the conversation open. By trying something, rather than directing people to do something, you are inviting feedback. I’d actually recommend you finish by saying “as we learn what works and what doesn’t, let’s talk about it and make improvements as we go”.

This is the power of collaboration and getting the whole team bought in on a new direction or idea. People want to be heard, they want to be part of the solution, and while you as a leader may be steering the ship, it is the crew that all need to work together to make it happen.

Say things like “I’d like to propose…” and write things like “Here is a draft”. These little phrases have an outsized impact when inviting feedback and using open-ended language.

Now there is a risk to using open language, and that is losing momentum or not moving fast enough. If you invite feedback forever, when will we decide on a plan?

Here is where you need to use time-boxing and set some ground rules. First of all, make it clear that silence means acceptance. In other words, if you don’t hear feedback from someone, that means they agree with the proposal or draft. Second, put a reasonable timeline in place that ensures momentum is not lost.

“I’d like to propose X. We will run a trial for a month, starting next week. After that month, we will evaluate and make it official”

This gives people time to read the proposal before starting. It also demonstrates a commitment to evaluate the impact at the end of the trial, giving space for things to go wrong, collect feedback, and iterate. All while keeping momentum high by setting the timeline up front.

If you are the type of person who uses more authoritative language, I’d like to challenge you to adopt a more open and collaborative tone. Try it for a month. You’ll feel the difference, and so will your team.